Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The 7 Best and Worst Things about Being an Episcopal Priest

7 Best Things About Being an Episcopal Priest:

     1. You don't have to think too hard about what you're going to wear to church. ("I think I'll wear black today. Yes, black… with a white collar.")
     2. People think your G-rated jokes are actually funny. Corollary: If you tell an off-color joke (privately, of course, to personal friends) it will have them rolling on the floor practically wetting their pants because they can't imagine a priest would tell such a joke.
     3. Celibacy is optional!
     4. If it's cold in the church, you're ready since you're already dressed in layers. (If you're not warm enough, throw on an extra chausible; it may look odd, but you'll be warmer, and people will simply think you're extremely Anglo-Catholic.)
     5. When you really mean, "No, I don't want to do it," you can say, "I'll pray about it," and people will really accept it. You can both get out of the task and be seen as quite holy at the same time.
     6. If you're invited to a black-tie event, you don't have to rent a tuxedo, you can just wear what you wore on Sunday – your uniform is considered formalwear.
     7. You get Mondays off!

7 Worst Things About Being an Episcopal Priest:

     1. When you took your vows, there was that dreadful phrase in them: "…and you will take your seat in the councils of the Church." That means committee work!
     2. It's awkward to go on a first date ("So, what you do for a living?")
     3. People constantly apologize to you every time they swear. (Like I haven't heard that word before.)
     4. You're never supposed to be sick or cranky.
     5. You can't cry at a funeral you're conducting, even if you really need to.
     6. People assume you don't have a personal life.
     7. You can't cut people off in traffic, especially when you have that bumper sticker that says, "The Episcopal Church welcomes you!"

     Feel free to add your own best and worst things about being an Episcopal priest in the comments!


  1. You can't cut people off in traffic, especially when you have that bumper sticker that says, "The Episcopal Church welcomes you!"

    Maybe, not. But I have found that flipping the bird and swearing loudly at a driver who has just cut me up gets a far more satisfying reaction from the offender and casual onlookers when I'm wearing my work clothes than when I'm in mufti. If challenged about the appropriateness of such behaviour I just refer to Christ and the moneychangers. The Bible can be very useful at times.

  2.      That would create quite a reaction, you're right. I know I'd get a chuckle out of seeing it. More than once in my sermons I've said the easiest way for me to lose my Christianity is to get on a freeway here in Reno.


     Your comments are welcome. I've had to add a word verification step to the comment process to screen out spam. I apologize for the inconvenience.